First I went to Mr Marks to the life jackets.We had to make sure they were nice and tight so they wouldn't go up in our face.Then we had to float on our back my legs kept sinking.
Then I went to Mrs Mark’s to the flotation device’s I was with my friend Damian.We used a chilly bin to float in.The chilly bin keeps spinning around so couldn't get grip.
Next I went to Mr Jackson we had to play shark attack which is a game.One person is the shark and the other person is the fish.Then we had to take our t-shirts of to
make it lighter so we don’t sink.
And last we went to Miss Drayson there were lots of ropes and that what we used.This time me and my friend Emerson went together.We used a rope I jumped into the pool and he chucked the rope out to me and he pulled me in. Then we got dressed and went back to school.
Water Safety from David St School on Vimeo.
That was cool Max but I was thinking that maybe next time you should read it aloud so that it makes more sense also 1 thing to practice on you should using more adjectives because I wasn't really that hooked on the story. I liked your 3rd paragraph about when we all went over to Mr. Jackson and we played shark attack because you wrote that others were sharks and the rest were fish I also agree it was also pretty loud though.
ReplyDeleteGood recount of what you did Max. Lets work on adding something extra next time to really describe what it was like and paint a picture of how it would feel or look like. For example how did it feel when you were wearing a life jacket compared to not wearing one? Lets catch up about this in class.
ReplyDeletewow max that is one good story that you wright next time you write a story tell us what you did before you got there
ReplyDelete